Back to the old school

Are we sitting comfortably? This is a tale of a guide dogs visit to Penryn School to see 30 excitable children...
My old school friend Lynn is a teacher at Penryn and asked Brett and I to pay a visit to educate the kids and answer any questions they had. Didn't really know what to expect, and with Lynn telling me that the kids were excited about the visit, if slightly confused, I prepared for the worse. One of the kids asking her when the guard dog was coming didn't help much either, they were only around 5ish so anything could happen!
It actually went really well. There was the expected awwws when we entered, and they had a crowd around to have a stroke. The questions followed, and were varied to say the least. "does he go in the car?", "yes, he came with me in the car today", "How does he know where to drive you though?", "Ummmnn...".
Others asked "does he do tricks?", "how does he know the names of the shops?", Does he dig holes,run fast, eat sticks etc.". I also overheard one of the little innocents comment whilst Brett was on his back "I can see his willy". We finished off with a few demonstrations on how he works, and their favourite, the recall with the whistle. Mum took him out of the room and I said about the magic whistle, a quick blow and he came bounding in like a nutter. They loved seeing him run in and gave a little round of applause and asked to do it again, well, who are we to disapoint our adoring public!
Hopefully some of them will take away a little information about blind people and guide dogs.

In the evening we had a visit from Kelly who I hadn't seen for a few weeks. We went into town to the Hollies for a few drinks. Whilst there we bumped into Steve and his dog Buddy. Buddy and Brett were trained together and this was the first time they had properly met since leaving Exeter. When we got home Brett put himself to bed, he obviously knows he will have a late night again tomorrow for the weding!

Track of the day = Boo radleys - C'mon Kids!

The B-boy's B-day

Today is Bretts birthday, having reached the grand old age of 2! Thankfully, Brett is a dog and doesn't have a concept of his own mortality, and as such doesn't get depressed at another year passing. I hope to get another 8 or so years of work out of Brett before he retires, so its early days yet for our partnership.
I was going to get a card for him with a snazzy "I'm 2 today" badge to wear. I didn't get the chance though as we had an early start to head off to the Royal Cornwall Show. I'm sure this was treat enough, read on...

Track of the day = Stevie Wonder - Happy Birthday

Royal Cornwall Show

Its that time of year again,time to get sunburnt whilst enjoying everything Kernow related at the Royal Cornwall Show in Wadebridge. True to form I now have lovely red shoulders due to wearing a wife-beater at this years show.
My sis Amy took us up and despite an early start, we were stuck in traffic for an hour. Once I had refuelled myself with a bacon bap upon entering the showground we set off for the dog shows.
We got chatting to a couple whilst watching the Retrievers being judged who had moved to Cornwall recently. Strangely enough, they had been puppy walkers for Guide Dogs where they used to live and had walked some 15 dogs. They were now involved in fundraising locally instead. It was pretty much the hottest day so far this year, so Brett was thankful for the flask I brought with icecubes and water in.

We sought out the Guide Dog stand so Brett could catch up and have a chat to his fellow workmates. I knew a couple of the volunteers and their dogs their through previous telephone calls and emails. Tony was there with his dog Gunner and Jack was with Edgar. There were others I didn't know so well like Dorothy and her dog Holly, but the dogs all seemed to know that they were fellow Guide Dogs and had a good old sniff.
Along our travels we met up with our friend Kelly and her mum outside, surprise surprise, the Skinners ale tent. I had to refrain from drinking as I was dehydrated enough already. We didn't stop long as we decided to make a move home due to the heat. Whilst trying to find the exit we happened to wander past the exhibitions of steam engines. This was the only time that Brett made me clip other people whilst walking. This was partly due to the heat getting to him, but mostly the fact that he seemed to recognise the smells and noises of the machinery. His puppy walkers had told me that they used to take him to similar events, and he has been on traction engines as a puppy.
After finally finding the exit and reinforcing the stereotype that females cant follow a map, we headed to the car. My sisters attempts to exit the showground didn't fill me with confidence . Her quip of "I hope Brett knows where the car is cause I don't" didn't help much either. Luckily half way through the massive field filled with thousands of cars, Brett made a break off to one side. He picked up pace and I followed leaving Amy behind. After he took another turning in the somewhat baffling maze of cars, Amy said that she could now see the car. Brett the amazing dog he is went straight to it without any sort of indication from me or Amy. All this from over half a large field away!
All in all, I think Brett enjoyed his birthday day out and slept the rest of the day.

Track of the day = Girls Aloud - The Show

Bretts Bum Bag

If you can imagine those annoying plastic bag dispensers you get for putting fruit and veg in at your supermarket. Well, I was told by my mother when she came to pick me up this morning that a similar sight greeted her during Bretts spending. My mum deserves a medal. I'm sure when she gave birth to me she didn't expect to be pulling undigested plastic out of her blind sons guide dogs arse.
I was only in the bath for 20 or so minutes last night, but I could hear Brett doing something suspect. A short sharp call of his name resulted in him sitting outside the bathroom door for the rest of the bath. Upon leaving, a very sheepish creature was reluctant to come and make its usual fuss. I think my tutting as I put the spilt contents of the bin back in reinforced my displeasure as he sat in the doorway feeling suitably guilty.
The lounge bin has now been replaced with a Brett-proof one. After 3 months, why should he decide to rummage in the bins now? Maybe he has decided to eat plastic now instead to get down to a fashionable size zero!?

Track of the day = Salt n Pepa - Push it

Picture collection 1 - just Brett

pain in the arse

forget MRSA and all the other superbugs, the most dangerous thing in hospitals is Brett. Hes so long that lying out whilst in the hospital waiting room he almost took relish in proving an obstruction to pensioners and the ill. The floors may be cleaned and polished for the express purpose of allowing guide dogs to be slid out of harms way whilst on their backs. The good news is that after having fingers, cameras and what felt like a pineapple shoved up my bum, nothing is wrong with me. Whilst being prodded, I distracted myself with the question - just what is the difference between a raisin and a currant? I still dont know...

Track of the day = Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire

Load of balls

Brett, dear of him is, how shall I put this, lacking in the dangly bits area. I understand the need for this in a guide dog as the more chilled the dog the better. You don't want to be dragged across the street into the path of a car just because your dog is chasing that sexy bitch on the other side. But there is still a part of me that feels sorry for him, this is probably due to being male and having a particularly strong attachment to such things, literaly.
Even so, I don't think I would go down this route;

www.neuticles.com
proudly offer to insert prostetic testicles in your pets. They come in a variety of sizes and firmnesses, great if you want to create the dog equivilent of Jordan. I can just imagine Brett now, proudly strutting past other guide dogs flicking his head back towards his swinging melons, as if to say check these out guys.

Track of the day = AC/DC - Big Balls